thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Sry I called you an 8
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
