I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i was born a porn star she said
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
