Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
