Don't you send me to vm
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
