We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm really busy with my period
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