I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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