hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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