He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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