Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
