How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
