He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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