his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So many bounce houses so little time
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
