you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
