My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
