I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
