who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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