Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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