Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
