I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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