Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
