Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I can't turn off my feet"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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