He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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