Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
