I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i dont even know how to be here
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
