In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
