dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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