clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
