Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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