I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
