Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
