where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There's always time for handjobs
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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