walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
