I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
