so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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