I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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