I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
