Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
