As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
