look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
