She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
