Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
