you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
