Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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