the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
