you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
