Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
