Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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