I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
