spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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