Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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