So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
